What I hope has come across here, is that I had an incredible father. One that has given me so much unending joy and perspective over the years. Even in the most difficult moments, I know how lucky I am.
But what you should also know – is what an amazing mother I have. And how amazing she’s been through all of this. And how much she is still teaching me about being strong, even when I don’t think I can be.
I don’t use the word “mom” lightly – because she is one in so many other ways than who she is to me. Her heart never quits, but just keeps opening even in challenging times. It’s an almost unimaginable task, but not for her.
Our home has been a place of comfort for so many people over the years. Friends, kids around the neighborhood, family members – they always had a plate for dinner, someone to talk to or a quiet space if they needed to go somewhere to breathe. It’s a door that never closes.
For me, she’s been an unwavering source of love and solace. She’s talked me through panic, quieted my tears and been there to answer an endless amount of big and little questions. And even though it broke her heart, she supported me and let me go – when I first decided to move away to continue growing in new ways.
But lately, she’s done even more. She’s stepped aside and let me cry when I thought I would never stop. She’s let me scream and explode. And she’s done what she can to make me smile and find light in an otherwise grim year – whether it was simply sending me a silly card, or putting me on a plane to get away for a few days.
You see, it can be hard not to get lost in your own point of view. It’s the nature of grief, to regress into your own feelings. We’ve each done it – trying to stay afloat. But I see how she’s risen above it, and tried to become a harbor for my brother and I when we’re upset. She’s absorbed our pain as part of her own, and handled it with grace.
And dad. She became an extension of him in his last year, doing for him what he couldn’t do himself. Championing his treatment. Shuttling him to and from appointments. Chasing doctors. Pushing for tests. Cooking whatever he could stomach. Helping him with bandages and dressings. Holding his hand. Loving him maybe more than ever and never, ever giving up.
I know this has been infinitely harder than she will allow herself to admit to my brother and I. That there are more bad days that she smiles through in front of us. And that there is so much of her pain that I could never understand – and she is entitled to all of it. But she’s protecting her kids. She always has.
That’s something I can never repay.
So with it being Mother’s Day this Sunday, I just wanted to take a minute to acknowledge mom – Debbie Do – a woman who is so selfless in all that she does. A woman who has given me an extraordinary blueprint for being a good person. A woman whose strength has been inspiring not just now, but always. A woman who knows how to love without limits. And a woman who makes me laugh and fills my life with wonder.
Thank you for all that you do and are. I am so incredibly proud of you.
A REKD GIRL 